Online Course | $80
4 sessions | 1.5 hours each
Prerequisite: None | Students: 10
Location: This class meets online using Zoom. Please download the app to your phone, tablet, or computer ahead of time. We will be sending you a link to join the class prior to the first day.
All class listings are Pacific Standard Time (PST).
This 4-week Satire Writing course is for comedy writers of all levels. In this class we will analyze satirical pieces from websites like McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Reductress, and Slackjaw. You will learn the basics of online satire writing (from generating topic ideas to revising your drafts) and get a chance to practice writing in two different genres of satire: the list and the character monologue.
Check out these works from recent students!
5 Plan Bs for the Childless
By Rebecca Buckley
So, you missed your childbearing years. If you have a uterus you’re not using, remember that throwing away your purpose in life is your choice! Or maybe it wasn’t. If you desperately want a baby but no amount of trying gets you anything but the Oscar for your performances on those fake orgasms, it’s time to face the music–specifically “Thank You, Next.” Mother Nature clearly wants you out of the gene pool. Or, perhaps your crippling debt and meager earning potential are keeping you from fertilizing those quickly expiring eggs of yours–and hey, if you haven’t tried yet, who’s to say you even have any good ones left in there? It might be time to completely forget about having a family and consider some other options for your fruitless loins.
1. Become an international spy. Could you imagine trying to parent while you’re out seducing foreign world leaders for juicy political pillow talk, running from the law across loosely shingled rooftops, and training yourself to develop a broad resistance to a gamut of poisons? The stress of knowing your child is being fed dinner and read bedtime stories by some part-time college nanny angling for an affair with your civilian husband would be enough to distract anyone from their assigned espionage duties. Not you, with your useless organs and unused bedrooms. Your husband will just have to have an affair with his secretary like all the other husbands. Most people with kids can’t even go out to see a movie, but they’ll make one about your life after you’re killed in the line of duty!
2. Develop a drug addiction. If a cocaine dependency is the reason Scarface didn’t want Michelle Pfeifer’s character to have his baby in that movie, (hypocrite much?) it stands to reason that if you can’t have a baby you’re totally in the clear to ride the white stallion! And hey, why limit yourself to the classics? Kids these days are coming up with all kinds of new drugs. Some of them aren’t even drugs, they’re just household poisons. Don’t forget to sign up for clinical drug trials while you’re at it, then you can earn some more drug money and brag about how you tried something before it was cool – er, “approved.”
3. Start a cult. If you’re not ready to give up the dream of having a family but you can’t have your own and you keep getting rejected for adoption, (Single? Poor? Yikes, maybe you shouldn’t be a parent…) there’s still another option! You could adopt a whole following of fellow weak-minded failures. If the prevalence of multi-level marketing has taught us anything, it’s that pyramids are a great shape for a business plan. A great fringe benefit of starting your own cult is that, at some point, everyone in the commune is required to have sex with the leader. Recruit with this in mind!
4. Get (another) degree. They say raising a child to adulthood costs a little more than $200,000, so if you’re childless consider yourself rich! But if you’re still missing out on the rush of giving all your money away to some ungrateful entity, potentially sinking yourself into a hole of insurmountable debt, don’t be afraid to give it the old college try and get a degree. Isn’t having a child all about the vain quest to produce offspring that live out the dead dreams of your own life? Well, this could be a second chance for you to finally get it together and become the French-speaking marine-biologist journalist-activist you’ve always wanted to be.
5. Get a dog. Just remember it’s not a real baby, you’re not a real parent, and under no circumstances is it acceptable to use the term “fur baby.”
10 Reasons Not to Welcome Your New Neighbors to the Neighborhood
By Rebecca Buckley
1. They might be gluten free, vegan, or both – what’s a welcome without a baked good?
2. You moved in last week – shouldn’t THEY be welcoming YOU?
3. You waited too long and now it would be weird.
4. It is winter.
5. The previous tenants were excellent neighbors, but after a tragic accident left the family
without a breadwinner, they were forced to relocate, and the new tenants are a bitter
reminder of the previous, better neighbors.
6. They might be international spies.
7. You might be an international spy.
8. You are a time traveler from the future, and worry your secret might be revealed through
some anachronistic fopaux you accidentally and unknowingly let slip.
9. Social interactions in the age of the internet feel radically intimate, and the vulnerability
of welcoming strangers into a community and creating shared space is a terrifying
10. They are dog people.
The Ballad of Donald Trump
By Kelly Browne
A long time ago
A whistle did blow . . .
Quid pro quo?
Ukraine aid would not flow?
unless they found dirt
on the brother of Beau
and his daddy, Joe?
Quid pro, so?
I’m just a Trump ho
I come from below
No gutter too low
What was Hunter doing
On the Board of that Co.?
What did he know?
Follow the dough.
Who did he owe?
Someone in Moscow?
Just go with the flow.
You don’t want a foe.
Under the bus I will throw.
What a dildo!
The House impeached?
Witnesses won’t show
And you already know
Which way we’ll go
Democrats in 2020:
We’re not merely players
in the Donald Trump Show.
What you reap, you sow.
Will he, though? No.
The mail is too slow
If I lose I won’t go
Electorate in 2020:
I’m better off now
Than four years ago
Democrats in 2020:
What will become of Roe?
Mark my words now
It will all end in woe.
The End (literally)
Janay Lovering has been performing since she was chosen as emcee of her kindergarten Christmas pageant, an honor bestowed upon young Janay because, to quote her mom, “You were the only blonde in class.” After recieveing her B.A. in Theatre Arts from Sacramento State University, Janay was a cast member of the long-running Sacramento musical Six Women with Brain Death until she went right back to college to get her M.A. in English so she could get a real job. She now teaches English at American River College, and she recently became the first English instructor to not be presented with cake upon earning tenure because her colleagues thought she was “too shy and quiet” and would not enjoy the attention.